Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is not so very popular in mainstream America.  I am sure it is one of our biggest faults as a nation.  We want it now.  We want it how we want it.  We don't care if we cannot afford it.

I had been a slave to this kind of thinking, myself.  It caused a lot of problems.  I can remember thinking I needed a NEW car every two years.  Since I could not afford one, I leased.

I can remember thinking I needed a BIGGER house.  We bought one thinking my husband's paycheck would keep going up and up as it had before.  Then came recession.  We had to move.  I learned to never make a financial decision based on hopes.

I've learned a new kind of thinking over the last 5 years it took us to get debt free.  It was not really new, but new to me.  I learned to say no to myself.  I learned to make do with what I had, not rushing out to a store without trying to make do or just do without until I could afford whatever it was I thought I needed.  I learned to delay my gratification.

I've been thinking about how to encourage someone who is deep in debt and wants to change.  It is so very hard, but not impossible.  The first thing you have to do is face the fact that you have a problem.  Add up those numbers and be brave.  Take a good look at the total.  You promised to pay this money to someone who trusted you to pay them back.  It doesn't matter that they are an impersonal bank in some other city.  You owe them the money.  Debt is a serious matter. 

After you face the total, tear up your credit cards and write a real budget.  Stick to that budget no matter what.  Because there really is no alternative.   Start paying back the money you owe.  You might have to get some help here and set up a payment plan.  It might take you 5 years.  That's really OK.  In those five years you will learn many lessons that only time can teach you! 

I remember thinking it would be impossible to live without credit cards.  What would we do in an emergency?  It forced us to spend more carefully.  We started saving for an emergency fund.  We prayed!  When we hit bottom, it was very scary.  We lived on "fumes" for four years.

Emergencies do happen.  One of the reasons we choose to rent at this time is to manage our risk while we regroup.  Part of this regrouping time is working on saving for 2 months living expenses. Houses can be money pits.  We figured we can save more if we don't have the risk at this time. 

If you are serous about getting out of debt, it will happen.  It will take time.  It will not be fun.  But when you are debt free, it will have all been worth it.  I know that most people who read my blog are frugal and debt free already.  And I applaud you.  I also know there are some people in debt through no fault of their own reading this.  Know that I am not writing this to discourage you.  I am talking to people like me who were spending money they had no right to spend. 

But, if you need some encouragement in this area, I am here to offer some. It is still easy for me to be discouraged in this area.  It is one step forward, two steps backwards at times.  I wonder if we are trying to do too much.  We are living within our means, but we need to be saving more.  There is no end to the ways I can be overwhelmed when I think about all we need to do.  That's where my faith in God helps.  I know if I am doing my best, He can do the rest.  

~Jenn