It has always been a dream of mine to live somewhere beautiful. As an adult, I have always lived in suburbia sprall. At times, it tires my eyes. My heart's desire is to look out my window and see God's handiwork, not a trampoline and the neighbor's backyard. Sometimes when I am at Lake Michigan or looking at a beautiful picture on a blog, I find myself caught up in this desire for beauty to surround me. I start to wonder why cannot I also live in a beautiful part of this world, if I chose to do so.
Then I feel guilty. Is this a wrong desire? Is this being discontent? I do know that I find myself feeling renewed and restored in such places. Sitting on the beach in the sun listening to the rush of the water thrills my soul. Is it wrong to want to live closer?
Here is where my desire gets wonky. Reality is that I live in what I think is a very good place to raise my children as far as community goes. We have a very good job, parks, friends, a church, family and other joys. We are mostly safe. We are comfortable. We do live only 3 hours away from our lake and go often.
I feel foolish. And really, I do not spend a lot of time worrying or wanting a change. It is just there in the back of my mind. "If I ever get the opportunity to move somewhere beautiful, I just may jump at the chance!" (Most likely to discover that home was best of all. )
What do you think? I'll tell you what I think. The conflict lies in that this life is not my own. This world is not my home. Perhaps, if the LORD wills, one day I may live in a beautiful place or not. My life's purpose is to glorify my Maker, not myself. And I need to be content where I am, right now. Easy to say. Harder to change my heart.
Whether it be right or coveteousness, I think it's human nature to often want something that we don't or can't have. Sometimes discontentment is good...as in always wanting to be more holy as God is holy.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking for myself, my dream would be to have a beachfront cottage on the Florida Atlantic, but alas, I'm married to a man that loves snow & mountains.
And both hubby & I wouldn't mind living near Ashville, NC, but then there is the matter of employment.
My third choice would be to live on a certain lake near us, but then there is the matter of high real estate prices and very high taxes.
There is always life circumstances that seem to get in the way of such dreams. But I know God blessed us with the place we have, which is far more than what I ever dreamed I would have 15 years ago and far more than what a lot of people have. Therefore I am thankful and content until He leads us elsewhere.
Who knows Jenn, being your Jeff is from around Lake MI, perhaps someday you WILL live around there.
I grew up a farm girl so my heart has always longed to get back to that. Right or wrong that desire is there.I do believe that the basic human desire is to long for the simple and calmer way of life. A slower pace that slows us down enough to appreciate the beauty of the world our Creator made.We have prayed and asked God to supply us with our "farm" if it be His will. Thats really the only the only thing to do. If we get it then great if not then I will be a little sad but at least we will be where he needs us. Blessings ~ Nikki
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteOh this is timely! DH and I were just discussing this very thing yesterday and all so much the same words. You are not alone. Nor do I believe you are right or wrong. The desires of our heart do reach the Lord...he hears us.
ReplyDeleteWe both know we are doing what God wants us to do at this moment...We also know we long for home. We have what we need...we are doing what He wants but the desire is to be doing it somewhere else.
We both long for the high desert and mountians of our home town in California. Wide open space without the city sprawl...the quiet. Seeing the stars so close at night you feel as if you can reach out and touch them. The smell of sage and pine. Watching a thunderstorm light up an entire range..but being far enough away that you can sit outside and enjoy the show.... Wild life and wild horses. I could go on and on.
Its a longing deep in my soul.
But I long also to see my kids raised with diviristy, and variety. With more opportunity. I have adult children now and long to stay close to where they are ( that is here and not in the place we long to be). Conflicting.
So thankful my hope is in the Lord and not in my own ability to sort out even my longings! At times my longing overwhelms me. I feel guilty to spend time longing but like you I do not know if it is healthy...or if I need to act on the longing? I pray and seek the Lord. Lately its seems in silence...( from the Lord) but I am hopeful that one day we will indeed move.
I am only too familiar with that of which you speak today, my friend. I left the country looking for something else, only to discover that my heart's strongest desire is to move back to the country. If I had my choice, we'd be headed for the outback of Montana, lol, but reality is that hubby needs to be around civilisation for his commercial job. This has tugged at me for so long, but we have finally reached a compromise. We will look for a house miles and miles outside of town on a few acres and hopefully this will satisfy us both. Actually, I know it will, because we're both doing for each other. I think it just becomes a matter of listening to your heart, giving it the due consideration it needs without judging it right or wrong, and then determining how much of it is the Lord's will and how much of it is just antsiness on our part. If this same desire is in your husband's heart, then maybe you should seriously consider it. If not, then look for that compromise.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I'm with you. I miss true silence - the silence of my childhood. Where I could climb a hill (and often did) and look out over the valley, over the tops of trees, and hear the wind singing to me through the trees as the birds chimed in raucously. I miss hearing the snow approaching, the thunderstorms uninterrupted, and the plants growing and changing all around me. It is an ache in my heart and soul, but the Lord will satisfy this as He is able. For today, I am safe, I am healthy, I am loved, and the same can be said for my little family. It is enough.
May you find the peace and acceptance of His will, and may you never take your respites for granted.
love,
Shani
Well, I have lived in many different areas, and all of them have their beauty from the Lord. Before we moved out here to the mountains of Idaho we were a bit prideful as we left Illinois. Letting people know we were going to live in the country where you can really see God's work. We made the city seem like it wasn't from the Lord and only living in wide open, non-city places was more Godly. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that. Thankfully one of our friends helped us see the light. The Lord is everywhere, His creation is everywhere, His beauty is everywhere, even in the city (suburbs, where ever). He has created everything. And believe me, I miss the beauty of a big city. When I was by the big city I never thought it was anything to miss. But it does have it's own beauty.
ReplyDeleteAnd the other thought I had, is remember. When you are on vacation, it's a vacation. It's completely different than living somewhere. Do you have time every morning to get up, leisurely walk to a park and sit for hours enjoying the beauty there? No, because you have your life to live. It's the same thing whether you live at the beach, mountains, country whatever.
When I was younger & lived in California, near the beach, for a few years, I came back to Illinois. The first thing everyone said to me was, "Where's your tan?" Well, I lived in California. Yes, I enjoyed the beach greatly, and went as often as I could. But I was working & in college, I was busy with life. I didn't get a chance to lay around at the beach all day long like on a vacation. When we enjoy places on a vacation, it's always different than when you live there.
I have now lived near beaches, cities, in the middle of no where & mountains. I like the beach the best. But I truly don't know that we will ever live by one. Like everyone else said, we have to be where hubby can find work. I leave it in the Lord's hands. And when I find myself longing for a place where I want to be, I try to start looking around me and seeing what the Lord has already blessed me with.
I'll tell you, I can get quite jealous when I read all the fun activities you have so close by you. The library you have, the things you get to do. We are in a small town, the biggest around here, but small still the same. And we don't have nearly any of those things. Yes, we have country & mountains, but the suburbs/city still offer more things to do, more diversity. There's blessings everywhere you live, we just need to look for them. :)
JoAnn
Oh Jenn, I guess you have to live one day at a time. I think you appreciate the place you are right now and that is important. I think it also makes you appreciate those trips to the lake. We never know why we have the desires we have, maybe a preparation for something to come? I desire chickens, strange, I know, but it isn't something my husband is willing to do....someday???
ReplyDeleteI dont know what to say I am a darn GYPSY... and I am always looking for something more.. lol
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess I'm in good company here! Lots of great thoughts I would have to echo...an ache for being more connected to God's creation and the simplicity it brings, yet enjoying the benefits of a bigger-scale environment. All of our families live pretty far away, so my longings are shaped toward that, too.
ReplyDeleteI just read an article in the new "Old Schoolhouse" magazine where the gal talks about the winter doldrums and the restlessness it brings to her heart. I agree--this season makes all these subjective things harder to deal with. So I'm trying to do what she suggests: find the fun and contentment of this confined season, don't make any big decisions when I'm feeling like this, and stay engaged in satisfying projects. I'm already planning yardwork, gardening, and camping trips just to bring myself closer to that lovely time of year.
May the Lord help each of us to be content and to remember that He knows and understands the longings of our hearts.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Wendy
I would try to share my heart on this, but with a massive head cold I'm not all here and probably would just ramble. I do want to come back when I'm feeling better and read what others wrote. I'm interested in the input, too. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteWe all have longing of the heart....I have many....I suppose the Lord allowed us to have them to strength our faith and outlook of Him....you hit the nail on the head on your last paragraph, "being content where we are". I long to live up in the mountains of Colorado or move to Israel, but lovely Indiana is my home for now.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
katia
I suggest in your prayers to lead your family where He wants you. It maybe somewhere else or it may be just where you are. There is good and not so good in each place in life. I got what I prayed for but there are thorns even here in the country. I miss the selection of a bigger city but I am happy for the quietness here. People who do make it to the country don't like the solitude living. ( alone on the mt for example) Just remember there are ups and downs to where ever you are and I pray that you pray for the Lord to put you in your right and perfect place and have contentment with the Lord.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and ((HUGS))
In Him<><
-Mary
I do struggle with this at times. But I believe that God's beauty and majesty can be found just about anywhere, and that the marvels of his creation are all around us - we just need to look on them with child-like wonder to gain a sense of true admiration.
ReplyDeleteBut then again...Ireland has always been a dream of mine. ;-)