How I see Ryan.
Just the thought of high school unnerves me. How could we be almost there? He is only 12! (OK, he is turning 13 in 39 days, but I am hanging onto 12 for as long as I can.)
We've been tossing around ideas. In my brave moments, I think we can do this at home. In my fearful moments, I am searching for charter schools in the area or looking at online programs. Even my husband is starting to feel my panic, which I really need to watch.
I know there are many, many people who are doing a great job with high school at home. I know this. But in my mind, I can't quite get there yet. He wants to go to college. He needs high tech input. (He is building his own operating system from scratch at the moment. How do I guide such a mind?)
In my sane moments, I calmly talk myself down from my ledge. "We'll do Sonlight. That will be a fantastic spine to our high school. Then we will add computer classes from a community college. See, that is not so bad. " Then my fearful self says, "But who is going to keep track of all of this? Who is going to put it into a transcript that makes sense to a COLLEGE? It's me, that's who! You rational person will be in the clouds and I will be doing all the worrying! And I have two others at home who need me!" I don't want to make any decisions out of fear. I do know that much.
This reminds me of how fearful I was at the thought of not sending him to kindergarten, when we made the decision to home educate our children. I guess that all has worked out nicely. It's probably very similar, actually.
I need to wrestle this out in my mind for awhile and then move forward. I need to be praying for wisdom and guidance.
"This is your child, LORD. Tell us what you want us to do!"
No one ever tells you at your baby shower just how hard it is to let them grow up!
Good morning, Jenn!
ReplyDeleteGlad you courageously posted anyway. I'm sure there are plenty of moms out there struggling with the same thing. I can't say what's right for you, but I can offer a word of encouragement...
So we're a semester into high school--with Sonlight--and I guess I'd have to say that it's like it was all the other years, a walk of faith day by day, week by week, month by month. You seek God for daily wisdom. You try not to go by what everyone else is doing. You trust that He who led us safely and well this far, will "perfect that which concerns [my kid]." And you don't get shipwrecked over a bad day, bad attitudes, or poor grades. You just keep on keeping on, seeing Him Who is invisible--but Who is the captain of this ship! In the final analysis, it's not me that can make my child have a successful future, it's not how 'well' I have schooled her. My job is to be the faithful planter and servant of the Most High on her behalf, remembering that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom--for me and for my daughter. He takes care of the harvest.
And oh, the benefits! I still say, nothing matches the priceless opportunities of daily and close interaction with our kids during this turbulent time of their lives. We can talk through everything and be very intentional about keeping those lines of communication open. We can help guide the friendships and social issues, recognize problems when they're still small, plant, plant, plant the Word in them, and help interpret the confusing issues of life for them.
And it's good to remember why we decided to homeschool in the first place. Have those things changed?
On a practical level, there are so many helps and programs available for high school, online if not right in your area. And a word of advice: spend these months before you actually start finding out what you need to do for record-keeping, get your forms made, read some books. There are a lot of resources out there for this; the one I'm liking and using is "Senior High: A Home-Designed Form-U-La" (SL sells it).
May the Lord banish your fear and give you a clear sense of His leading, my sister. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat. I'm a rank beginner myself, but I can give some SL-specific counsel.
Have a wonderful day!
Wendy
give hslda a call (if you are a member...if not join!). They have a homeschool helper just for guiding your through choices for high school.
ReplyDeleteI think Wendy did a wonderful job encouraging!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're finding lots of resources and you will continue to. The Lord will supply all of your needs, Jenn.
Blessings on your journey!
btw, Jenn, it's difficult to comment here. It may be my computer, but for some reason while typing my comment, it won't appear until I'm several words into the comment and even then it shows up slowly. Of course it could be my computer, although it doesn't happen at other blogs, hmmm.
Could it be different servers I wonder...we're internet explorer and does that have anything to do with this. I'll ask my husband when he gets home from work tonite.
blessings to ya :-)!
As I click the link to "post comment" I see on your sidebar a graphic that reads "keep calm and carry on"!Sounds like that is what you intend to do, at least as best you can.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. Panic hasn't quite set in just yet, although, I'm sure it will before too long. My yougest is turning 10 today, and my 12 year-old will be turning 13 in March, eek!
Anyway, I'm where you're at, so nothing helpful from me except a hearty "We Can Do This!" with our Heavely Father's help, of course.
Blessings!
Sharity
So true about letting them grow up. Hubby and I had tears yesterday looking at our oldest in the rear view mirror in the car. (And she is only 10)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!!!!!! God will give you the grace and the guide to school him perfectly.
Be blessed,
Chasity
Everyone gave such encouraging comments, not sure what else I could say except, continue to pray. It's the Lord that will give you the strength, ideas & curriculum choices. It's the Lord's peace that will be your calm. It's all the Lord.
ReplyDeleteAnd like you've said, there are many online, distant learning things he can do. I never thought I could teach everything, I just need to know how to direct my kids to what they want to learn. So find the help, the courses, the online things to help him learn what he wants to learn. Keep with the basics, math, science, history, but for the techie part of him, there is so much to offer.
If you ever need to chat feel free to email. I'm always here. :)
JoAnn
Let your heart be your guide, take all your fears to the Lord... I know that which you feel... I am still trusting the Lord in this whole public school thing... believe me its hard... I pray daily that He will protect their hearts from that of the world that can be so easy to get trapped in with kids at this age and stage in public schooling...
ReplyDeleteI feel for you .... I really Really do...
I am just curious to know has your child made mention of a particular college, and if so have you researched that college to find out what they look at for enrollment.... then maybe use that as a spring board to accomidate his studies at home... that way you dont have to worry later if you got it all...
I think Wendy said it well. I am knee deep in Homeschool Highschool with two graduated and on to college and university. Nothing I did on my own prepared my kids but with God in the midst and faithful support of other highschool homeschool families we made it! Its hard. Its rewarding. Its bound to drive you to your knees... ( not a bad thing!) But its such an awesome journey.
ReplyDeleteThis year we enrolled the gals in enrichment courses for homeschool. That means others are teaching them. I am so glad I did this. We still do the bulk at home but the classes we were not our best at are being taught by others and the gals are doing great. ( chinese, upper level math, guitar)
There are many ways to meet the goals. The point is to have a goal early on. Be flexible. Keep your vision clear. Don't let all the "stuff" that is out there cloud the true purpose of homeschool for your family.
BTW I feel this way each year! ( this is year 20 coming up!)
PS- I think we all get this way sometimes. Thanks for posting about it. Homeschooling is HARD some days, that is for sure.
ReplyDeleteI understand with the wrestling of your own thoughts, I certainly have done the same over the years. Because you are trusting and totally relying on Jesus to guide you, He will receive peace when you know the right decision! xxx
ReplyDeletehttp://unafamiliaalaskena.blogspot.com/2010/11/high-school-getting-ready-for-last-four.html
ReplyDeleteThe book this lady mentions in this post sounds interesting, I might get this and thought you might be interested as well.
Have a great weekend.
You are not alone! I've gone through similar thoughts now with two girls and have another quickly approaching.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you to feel, see, and grasp HIS plans for what is ahead.
Jenn,
ReplyDeleteWhat I feel like the spirit wants me to tell you is...Proverbs 3:5,6
"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart; and lean not on your own understanding.
In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths."
Keep seeking my SSiC and the Lord WILL provide a way to hs your kids the full distance. (((HUGS))
Blessings and ((HUGS))
In Him<><
-Mary
Oh Jenn, You have written out many of my own fears about the upcoming years.
ReplyDeleteI've been researching high school lately as I just feel it looming over me - inching closer by the day. (Wasn't my sweet girl just in 3rd grade? How did this happen so fast?!)
I really think I'm goping to use some sort of 'umbrella school for high school. Not necessarily one that will tell me what or how to teach - but one that will keep all of the records and make a nice transcript.
(Of course... my thoughts on that waiver daily) ;-)