First, I must make this disclaimer. I am married to the most amazing man by the grace of the Lord. I hesitate to write this post, as I do not speak from having the experience of being unequally yoked, as many of my friends do. My heart goes out to you and I am on my knees for several of you that I know personally. I do not take my husband's love for the Lord for granted. I realize that I have a special treasure in him. However, I feel the need to encourage you who may need a little hope in this area of your life.
Go get a mirror. I'll wait. Got it? Good, now take a good, long look. You see that lovely person? She is created in the image of her maker. She was created to be her husband's helper completer. She was created to bring glory to her God. Are you squrimming yet? I certainly am!
OK, so when a friend calls me to vent, I frequently here the words, "He is not helping me!" I cringe at these words. Would you be expected to go to your husband's place of employment and be expected to help him with his work? I certainly would not be much of a help to my husband's accounting firm. So why do we expect his help with our work at home? Now, I am not saying he should be sitting around giving you orders, but really, who's domain is the home? Not really his, is it? God gave us the responsibility to be our husband's helper. It is not the other way around. If your husband chooses to help around the house, you are blessed, indeed.
I have a dear friend whose husband proclaims to know the Lord, yet, he is not bearing fruit. He disengages when he comes home from work, leaving her with the 24/7 burden of the home and children. She is praying for the Lord to give her the partner she desires. She feels more like a servant than a wife. She is angry.
My advice to her? Create a haven for her husband at home. This world he goes into each day is not for him, but agaisnt him. Pray for him each day. Pray for guidance as to what a peaceful home should look like. Ask her husband what 3 things she could do everyday that would make him feel loved and then do them, cheerfully. She must stop her nagging, complaining, and withholding affection.
It may be that the Lord is not going to give you an easy marriage. Are you willing to submit to His will for you? Your response may set the stage for your husband's very conversion! Think of that. You are an ambassador for the Lord. What you do will have eternal consequences.
Well said, Jenn! Thank you for the post. Not long ago (maybe a cpl of months or so, I finally tidied up the piles of laundry that I would fold, place on the dressers, use, then do the same again and again...but the clothes never made their way into the dressers due to my lack of housework ambition. It just makes one room look so messy when things aren't where they belong. Of course, my dressers WERE full of clothes already that weren't even being used. So I uncluttered them and gave them away to a second hand store. By the time I was done going through the stuff I had accumulated over the years I had about 10 HUGE garbage bags full of just clothes that sat around either in the drawers or lying on the basement floor. I was in a slump, overweight, (still am working on that part...) and never had any "umph" to get anything accomplished aside from making meals and sweeping the floor at least once a day. I decided to make the home a haven. I have a long way to go yet as far as I'm concerned, but I've been working on it. My basement is almost done, whereas before you couldn't walk around down there due to all the toys and things that were just there because they werent being used anymore. I have all those piled into a trailer waiting for a yard sale to take place soon at a family members house. I hang the dress clothes into the closet as soon as I get them out of the dryer and ironed if nessecary. I do the dishes the night before so my kitchen is ready for a new day and I wont feel rushed with breakfast for my family. My mattress and linens had a funky smell I could not seem to wash out of them. I am not getting a new set anytime soon, so I dealt with it by buying a cpl items. I bought a Scentsy warmer, (which I can swap easily from room to room and give each room a unique scent), a bottle of linen spray for my bed, (my room smells great now and I can inhale my pillowcases!) lol Anyhow, the point is that my husband comes home from work, he actually sits back in the recliner and RELAXES for a bit now when he comes home. He was always moody before and seemed unhappy. He has a rough enough job as it is with his occupation, I want him to be able to come home and find a restful spot to just chill out for a bit. Getting my 3 year old son down for a nap in the afternoon is a challenge, but it makes for a much more fun playtime with daddy when my husband gets home as well. I'm far from being perfect but I've always liked the saying:"A place for everything, and everything in it's place"!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for being a godly wife and may He also bless the hands of your work and your family as well. ~Annie~ :)
Thank you for your kind comments, Annie. May God bless you as well.
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